


Bang

by kaitlyn_chronicles



Series: It’s Too Late [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Abuse, Multi, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 07:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitlyn_chronicles/pseuds/kaitlyn_chronicles





	Bang

**August 28, 2013 (Smythe Mansion)**

Sebastian Smythe started his life with a bang.

His mother, a petite woman in her mid fifties, had been certainly not meant to become pregnant and have yet  _another_ child in addition to the three college students, but here they were, sitting in their posh chairs in their elegant living room, sipping drinks from their beautifully crafted demitasse, and reading long-winded books. 

Sebastian often wondered why they needed so many luxuries. Not that he didn’t appreciate them, of course, but he didn’t know why they were necessary. People all around them live perfectly good and happy lives without all of these _things_.

And yet, Sebastian’s parents had deemed it vital to their own lives to have all of this stuff, forgoing real happiness to prove to everyone that because they had more money, they were obviously better than them. On his parents’ little quest to make everyone else feel awful about themselves, they had forgotten about something. Him.

 _Money and power corrupt,_ Sebastianthought wryly.

At first, he hadn’t noticed all the little things his parents forgot. If they missed a birthday or a tee ball game, hey, no big deal. They just gave him an apology and bought him some new thing and he went with it, too involved with his present to pay any mind to what had actually happened. 

As Sebastian grew, he came to realize that his parents really didn’t care about him. They still missed things like they did before, but afterwards, there was no apology and no new thing. It was simply, “Oh, we must’ve forgotten. You know how busy we get,” or “We’ll come to the next one.” That’s the one that always got to him. The one promising to be there for him next time.

Except, that never happened. He was always the one kid at school functions without his parents, without anyone to support him. He became the butt of the jokes at school, the kid who was so awful that not even his own parents wanted him.

And for a while, Sebastian went with it. He let it roll off his back because he knew that what they were saying wasn’t true, that his parents did want him even if they had a strange way of showing it. 

But soon, everything came crashing down. His parents started ignoring not only him, but each other. They’d have different lovers in the house, sometimes while he was home and sometimes they’d bring them home at the exact same time. But nothing about that was ever mentioned by them publicly because they were the perfect happy couple that never fought according to the outside world. 

Soon, Sebastian realized just how much his parents had wanted him gone. They sent him away to a boarding school in Ohio, thousands of miles away from their home in California. 

“It’s a great school!” His mother had said in that perky voice of hers. “They are really academically inclined and have a no bullying policy.” For just a split second after she had said that, Sebastian had thought that maybe she did care and noticed that he was being bullied and how it was affecting him. But those thoughts were ruined when she followed up with, “That means you have to be on your best behavior.”

He had simply nodded before running upstairs and packing whatever could fit into two suitcases. He was out of the state by the next afternoon.

Dalton Academy wasn’t a very good place for Sebastian. He was just coming to terms with being gay, and being in a school full of guys, though he thought it should’ve been a gay guy’s dream, really freaked him out. He didn’t know how to talk or act so he just did what his father taught him. 

He used all the bitterness that had been building inside of him to his advantage, taking people down with snarky remarks and cutting words. He prided himself on his ability to keep everyone at an arms length while also being one of the most popular boys in the school. 

He had tried out for the school’s show choir team because why not? He had nothing better to do with his miserable life. Without the Warblers, Sebastian probably wouldn’t even be alive, or he’d be in dreadful condition, maybe sitting in some corner of some bathroom, cutting into his wrists and trying to get the pain to drip out with the blood. It was a terrible habit he had picked up in middle school and carried in throughout his second year of high school before getting himself to stop. The Warblers helped his road to recovery without even knowing it, but joining them had been his doom. 

It was that one choice that had lead him to Blaine Anderson, the blushing little schoolboy that also happened to be talented and sexy and, _oh yeah_ , taken. But that didn’t deter him, no. He flirted with that damned boy every chance he got and constantly put down his significant other, that bratty princess of a boyfriend. 

Sebastian didn’t allow himself to feel anything when he heard about Blaine having to get surgery because of him, but when he returned to Dalton, he had taken his anger out on his wrists, relapsing for the first (and certainly not last) time since sophomore year. 

The ever growing black hole of despair in his heart expanded even more, threatening to swallow him whole when he heard about Dave Karofsky’s suicide attempt. He remembered what he said to him and nearly relapsed once again, razor blade in hand, before forcing it away. _No_. Sebastian Smythe is not weak.

He called some of the New Directions to meet him, though he mostly tuned out the conversation in favor of staring at his feet. The talk finished rather quickly and Sebastian could not have been more relieved.

Regionals came and went with another Warblers loss and a few more cuts added to the collection starting to reappear on his arms. 

Blaine proposed to Kurt and _Sebastian actually helped_. Now he couldn’t blame anybody but himself for the letdowns in his life.

Sebastian returned home for summer vacation, which is how he found himself and his mother (surprisingly) sitting in their posh chairs in their elegant living room, sipping from beautifully crafted demitasse, and reading long-winded books.

He excused himself quietly as to not disturb his sleeping father on the couch adjacent to them. His mother muttered in confirmation and he started his way up the stairs. He slipped into his parents room on the way to his own, grabbing the loaded gun from his father’s nightstand and tiptoeing back to his room. 

The room was bare of any personal touches, a blank slate that perfectly represtented his life. A big nothing. 

He turned the gun over in hand, feeling the cold metal brush his fingertips and igniting a sense of excitement in him. He was finally going to do it, what all those old bullies wanted him to do, what all the kids from Ohio want him to do. 

He sat on the edge of his large bed, hands briefly touching the soft duvet before being placed in his lap. He took a deep breath before holding the gun to the side of his head. The barrel was cold and had a sense of...something to it. Finality, maybe? He knew that if he continued, this would be irreversible. There’s no going back, especially not how he’s carrying this out. 

Dave Karofsky had tried to hang himself. Dumb move if you asked him. There was still time to find people if they tried to get out that way. Other people tried pills (they can be pumped out or thrown up or whatever), some tried razor blades (bandages and blood transfusions can work wonders), and more have tried jumping (if you are somewhere where it’s high enough to die if you jump, someone will likely see you). But shooting yourself, that’s a different thing entirely. It was only for people who were absolutely certain, and Sebastian was exactly that. 

Sebastian screwed his eyes shut. He thought briefly of what would happen if he didn’t do this, if he kept living. But all of those scenarios would eventually lead to where he is now, so there was no point. 

His last thoughts were of his brothers, the ones who all had jobs meant to make the world a better place. He had written all three of them notes earlier that day, wishing them luck in their lives and giving his best regards to their families. He also thought of Blaine and the Warblers and the New Directions, and wondered how they would react, but deciding he didn’t care anymore, he pulled the trigger slowly. 

Sebastian Smythe ended his life with a bang.


End file.
